Never Let Me Go
by battyderp
Summary: Littlecloud loves Cinderpelt, Cinderpelt loves Firestar, Firestar loves Sandstorm. Everything would have been easier if he had never met the ThunderClan medicine cat...
1. Chapter 1

The moon shone high in the sky, staring down on the forest like a giant, unblinking eye that turned everything in its sight to a brilliant, glistening silver. A cool, gentle breeze stirred the loose leaves of Leaf-fall overhead, carrying with it the acrid scents of Carrionplace. A small, brown tabby poked his head out of his den to glance at the sky, whiskers twitching. Not a cloud was within sight, which was a good sign; tonight would hold the first Gathering since the battle with BloodClan, and Littlecloud could smell the fear scent clinging to his clanmates' pelts however hard they tried to appear undeterred. He let out a small, relieved sigh and slipped out into the clearing, stretching one leg at a time nervously. It would fall to him as the medicine cat of ShadowClan to appear calm in front of the other Clans, but, at the moment, his stomach was clenching uncomfortably and he had to fight to keep his ears from flattening themselves against his head.

His clanmates turned to murmur greetings to him, though it was painfully obvious their smiles were forced. Littlecloud dipped his head and padded over to stand beside Blackstar, who was clawing the ground absently as he surveyed his cats. The medicine cat meowed a greeting to his leader, who seemed a little startled to see him standing at his side.

"Littlecloud," he meowed in a low voice, and the tabby could sense he, too, feared what would greet them at Four Trees, though he stood tall, jaw set in defiance. Neither Blackstar nor Littlecloud had been back to Four Trees since the great battle, and it was apparent both were reluctant to go; this made Littlecloud's pelt prickle with unease: it had been chosen by StarClan as a place of peace, no cat should fear it!

The bodies of fallen warriors had been buried by their Clan's elders, but then it had come down to the corpses of the BloodClan cats and Tigerstar. The four leaders had appointed one cat of each Clan to help bury them, as no cat was sure which Clan Tigerstar had belonged to in the end, and no Clan alone had wanted to accept the responsibility of burying Scourge. In the end, each enemies' body had been buried beside the Thunderpath.

Blackstar straightened and turned his head to face his Clan, announcing in a loud, clear voice, "Everyone's here. Let's go."

The cats raced from the camp, tails streaming out behind them as the air whipped their faces. But Littlecloud was thankful for it; it gave him a distraction from the troubling thoughts that clouded his mind. At that moment, something occurred to him, almost making him trip as each cat leapt over a fallen tree trunk, which was already made hard for him by his small size. Cinderpelt would be at the Gathering! But, almost as soon as the thought popped into his mind, he scolded himself and shoved it roughly away. He couldn't let his feelings for the ThunderClan medicine cat interfere with him; if anyone discovered how he felt, not only would he lose his position as medicine cat, which the grey she-cat herself had inspired in him, but he may very well be banished from the Clan. But that didn't stop the lightning that crackled through his veins, much to his irritation. It was a pleasant feeling, but one he knew he shouldn't, _couldn't_, allow himself. But it wasn't just something he could simply shake off like snow from his pelt. It was real, and scary.

Before he realised it, he was standing at the edge of the Thunderpath, the fumes writhing around him and making his nose twitch. As medicine cat, he had to be one of the first cats to cross, something that always haunted him ever since Whitethroat's gruesome death. The thought made a pang appear in his heart. Trying not to dwell on the memories of his dead friend, he crouched in the bushes beside his mother, Dawncloud, thankful for the warmth her pelt provided him and her familiar scent that flooded through him, taking him briefly back to the nursery. Only when a monster rumbled past, ruffling his fur and making his claws unsheathe instinctively, did he remember where he was. Creeping forward to glance from side to side for any of the monsters' glowing yellow eyes, he darted across to the other side of the great path, the hard, black surface under his paws warm and stinking, making him instantly nauseous. Just as he reached the other side, where a few of his clanmates were waiting expectantly, ready to run out and help him across if a monster came into view, Littlecloud's back paw hit a small rock that jutted out from the grass and stumbled, crashing to his side amongst the undergrowth. He spluttered as dirt entered his mouth and lay dazed for a moment before a cat rushed over and nuzzled his shoulder.

"Littlecloud," The tom prodded him with a paw worriedly, "Are you okay?"

Embarrassed, Littlecloud gave a curt nod and scrambled to his paws, spitting out the dirt and lapping at his chest, noticing irritably that his coat was now completely covered in dust and birrs. Cinderpelt couldn't see him like this! He was a little surprised that his mind instantly went to Cinderpelt, but forced himself to block the beautiful she-cat from his mind as he sat back and quickly cleaned his pelt, annoyed when his fur stuck up at all angles. Risking a glance to his side, he saw that the rest of his Clan had joined him and were watching him with barely suppressed smirks. _At least I've taken their mind off the Gathering,_ he thought bitterly, a little uncomfortable when he realised he was practically sitting on Scourge's grave. He edged over slightly, skin crawling at the thought of the black cat.

Blackstar padded over, and Littlecloud noticed with a start that the large tom was purring a little, eyes glittering, "Are you fine to go on?" he asked, looking him up and down pointedly.

Littlecloud flicked his tail-tip and nodded hurriedly, sighing. "If you don't mind your medicine cat looking like he just had a battle with some dust."

As quickly as his more gentle side had appeared, it disappeared, and Blackstar began to look more like the leader Littlecloud knew. He flashed Littlecloud a small, tight-lipped smile before turning and gesturing with his tail for his Clan to follow him. Littlecloud was swept up by the swarm of cats until he was running at full speed in the centre of his clanmates, careful not to have a repeat accident. For a moment, he could almost believe everything was back to normal, when he took in the warrior's gleaming pelts and lean muscles under their fur, eyes shining in the moonlight, and he felt a warm glow of happiness. Sooner or later, everything would be good, and the battle with BloodClan would be a thing of the past.


	2. Chapter 2

Littlecloud stared down into the hollow, a little disappointed when the only scent of ThunderClan he picked up was stale. They weren't there yet. But at least that meant he could have some more time to clean his fur. Stop it! You are the loyal ShadowClan medicine cat! You can't be thinking about Cinderpelt every second of every day. Thankfully, he noticed that the rain of the past few days, as though sent by StarClan, had cleared away the blood that had once stained the grass, and has washed away most of the lingering scent that had made him feel sick.

He was jerked back to the present when the cats around him charged forward, almost knocking him off his paws, and he was swept into the midst of the RiverClan warriors. He picked his way through the crowd, muttering soft, awkward apologies when he accidentally stepped on tails, until he was finally at the Great Rock. Mudfur, the RiverClan medicine cat, was already seated in his designated spot, sweeping light brown tail wrapped neatly around his paws. He seemed to be staring at nothing, consumed by his own thoughts.

Tentatively, he padded over to Mudfur. He still wasn't entirely used to being a medicine cat, though many moons had passed. It felt strange, almost too good to be true. And that was why he was so conflicted about his feelings for Cinderpelt.

"Greetings, Mudfur," he meowed, pleased when his voice came out sounding cheerful.

The older tom jumped as Littlecloud spoke, but swiftly regained his composure, and smiled up at him, though his eyes were sorrowful, and Littlecloud was reminded of the cat's age. Mudfur dipped his head and gestured with his tail for the small tom to join him. Littlecloud took a seat beside him, now having to look up to meet his eyes. He still cursed his small stature every day, even more so now that he had met Scourge.

Mudfur's gaze swept over the cats in front of him as he spoke. "I see ShadowClan is recovering well after the battle," he commented.

Littlecloud still had to force himself to remember that he didn't have to lie to make his Clan appear stronger than they were to a fellow medicine cat; after so many moons of being a warrior, he had been trained to treat other Clans cordially, to not make friends and to certainly not give them any information they could hold against them. But he didn't have to worry about that now. He nodded, feeling a spark of pride at the thought he had assisted in rebuilding his Clan, "Yes. We're back on our paws, thankfully, though we're still grieving for the dead," He glanced up at Mudfur, "Of all Clans. How's RiverClan?"

Sighing, Mudfur shrugged, looking down at the younger tom, "Leopardstar is still pretty shaken, and, though she doesn't admit it, I can tell she feels guilty for the part she had to play," He shook his head as though to clear his thoughts before continuing, "But, aside from that, we are growing stronger."

Littlecloud blinked sympathetically and flicked the brown tom on the flank with his tail-tip, "Leopardstar believed what she was doing was for the best. No cat blames her, Mudfur."

"We both know that's not true, Littlecloud," he replied with a snort, before adding more seriously, "But thank you nonetheless. ShadowClan is lucky to have a medicine cat like you."

He was overwhelmed by such high praise from the great cat, and for a moment was speechless. He beamed up at Mudfur, hoping the smile on his face wasn't too mouse-brained. But, from the way Mudfur's whiskers twitched, he could tell it was. "T-thank you," he stammered finally, deep blue eyes dancing in the starlight. At least had had done something right.

At that moment, more cats streamed into the clearing, and he spotted Firestar's brilliant flame-coloured pelt and glowing green eyes at the front of the group. Mudfur's voice faded into the distance as Littlecloud searched the ThunderClan ranks, his breath hitching in his throat as he spotted Cinderpelt already making her way towards him. The sight of her pronounced limp made Littlecloud curse Tigerstar, but he had grown to love even that about her. He just hoped Mudfur didn't notice the smitten look that he knew had crept onto his face, but, when he glanced up out of the corner of his eye, he was horrified to see the older tom gazing down at him knowingly. Straightening, Littlecloud cleared his throat and awaited Cinderpelt patiently. Well, not as patiently as he would have liked.

Watching Cinderpelt politely pause to smile and meow a few words to the cats of other Clans, Littlecloud was struck by a startling thought. What if he had lost her? What if she had been killed in the battle, or, worse, what if she had been killed when she had been hit by the monster as an apprentice and he had never met her? A sudden wave of protectiveness crashed down on him, and he had to fight down the growl that rose in his throat. As long as there was breath in his body, he would never let any harm come to her. Inwardly, he knew that was an impossible vow, since they lived in different Clans. He briefly wondered if she would run away with him, but he instantly slashed the selfish thought to threads. What? He screeched in his head, Are you completely insane?

"Littlecloud?"

He was suddenly aware of Cinderpelt's gentle blue gaze eyeing him with concern, and blinked a view times. She was standing in front of him, eye to eye with him as they were the same size, fluffy grey fur holding a particularly beautiful sheen under the moon. He could feel Mudfur watching him too, but didn't dare break Cinderpelt's eye contact. Littlecloud swallowed with some difficulty before smiling and stepping forward to press his nose to hers in greeting, trying his hardest to ignore the sparks of warmth that shot through his body at the contact, to no avail.

"Cinderpelt," he purred happily.

She smiled back, all concern vanishing from her face until she took in his messy pelt. Now she chuckled, circling around him before coming to a halt in front of him once again. "What happened to you?" she asked, voice light and teasing.

"Oh," he felt the skin under his fur grow hot with embarrassment and ducked his head to study his paws as though they were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world, "Er, I sort of tripped and fell when we were crossing the Thunderpath," he admitted, shuffling his paws.

Cinderpelt purred in amusement and reached out with her tail to tap him on the cheek affectionately; he raised his eyes uncertainly, "Careful," she warned, the mocking evident in her soothing, playful voice, "Who will fix you if you hurt yourself?" She was a breath of fresh air at the Gathering, so light and seemingly care-free amidst the rest of the melancholy cats that were still trying to prove they were once again four separate Clans, though he could see in her eyes something was bothering her. He wanted desperately to press himself to her side and ask was it was, but he knew he couldn't do that.

She padded over to sit down beside him, permanently injured hind leg splayed out awkwardly. He could feel the heat of her body radiating off her, and was grateful for it. The air had become icy without his knowing it, but, beside Cinderpelt, he may as well have been sitting on the sun.

Littlecloud opened his mouth to say something, but that was when he noticed Cinderpelt's gaze drift to Firestar, who had his muzzle pressed to Sandstorm's. He saw Cinderpelt's cheerful eyes turn dark and sad as she continued to stare at her leader; he would recognise that look of longing anywhere, and suddenly felt his heart plummet and squeeze painfully. Something he assumed was jealousy clutched his chest, a very unpleasant feeling. She was in love with Firestar. No. She couldn't be. She was his. Littlecloud knew that was a horrible thought, when it was obvious all Cinderpelt wanted from him was friendship, but when he saw how she gazed at Firestar… It was almost too much to bear, and he found himself wishing Cinderpelt was a warrior instead of a medicine cat. Then someone, even if it wasn't Littlecloud, could make her happy. That would be better than having to watch her pine after Firestar, which, as he watched how much it hurt Cinderpelt, also hurt him. He was friends with Firestar. How could this be happening?

Scraping his gaze from Cinderpelt, Littlecloud watched as Firestar leapt gracefully up beside the other leaders, and he realised guiltily he hadn't even noticed WindClan arrive, made worse by the fact that he now saw Barkface sitting on the other side of Mudfur. He couldn't let himself be distracted by Cinderpelt. He wouldn't. Usually, she was a much-needed distraction when he was feeling down, but now the very thought of her made him feel empty. Thoughts whirled through his mind, making him feel dizzy. She loved Firestar. Firestar loved Sandstorm. Littlecloud loved Cinderpelt.

Suddenly, darkness swirled across his vision, and he was made aware of a piercing ache at the back of his eyes. Before he even knew what was happening, Littlecloud felt himself falling, however much he staggered to keep upright, semi-aware of what was happening, and crashed into something soft and warm that instantly darted away. It was like when he had been infected by the disease from the tainted rats of Carrionplace Cinderpelt had cured him of, but not the same. What was happening? Before he had a chance to feel any fear, darkness crashed down over his eyes and he was forced into an uncomfortable, painful semi-consciousness, where voices were muffled and only brief glimpses of fur told him he was still alive.


	3. Chapter 3

"Littlecloud? Littlecloud! Wake up," a voice pleaded, sounding as though it came from far away. He was suddenly aware of a cool liquid being trickle into his partially open mouth, and groggily opened his eyes to see Cinderpelt crouched over him, squeezing water onto his lips from a small clump of moss. Black blotches distorted his vision, accompanied by the spinning oak trees and countless faces of cats as they stared at him curiously. Waves of heat washed though him, and he could hardly feel the icy breeze buffeting his fur.

Blinking open his eyes once more, he waited for his vision to focus and for his eyes to stop aching, and saw Mudfur pacing back and forth behind Cinderpelt, while Barkface stood by, watching with a frown. Behind them, Blackstar had pushed his way to the front of the crowd that had encircled the medicine cats, calling out to Cinderpelt for news. But all that faded into the background as he took in Cinderpelt's huge sky-blue eyes, staring down at him with obvious panic. She cared for him. Everyone cared for him. But most of all, Cinderpelt was worried for his safety. If he hadn't been lying on the ground with his legs splayed out and stomach churning painfully, he would have leapt for joy. But the very thought made him feel queasy.

"I'm fine," he drawled, barely able to control what he said, "Just… Just feeling a little light-headed."

He watched with satisfaction as Cinderpelt let out a relieved breath, "Well, that part's pretty obvious," she muttered, shaking her head. He was just about to tell her she could stop pouring water into his mouth when she pulled the moss away of her own accord and dropped it by his head. She turned to Blackstar, calling, "He'll be fine."

Cinderpelt turned back to him, smiling uncertainly. "You mentioned you took quite a fall earlier this evening," she meowed softly, and he could only nod, once again reminded that she was a fantastic medicine cat, "I'm thinking you may have knocked your head, and this was just a result of a concussion."

Littlecloud rumbled in agreement, attempting to clamber to his paws before falling back down again, knocking the air from his lungs. Cinderpelt edged closer and used her head to support him as he tried again, limping forward as he sat up unsteadily and supporting him with her shoulder. "Thank you," he whispered, closing his eyes for a few moments; half to stop his head from spinning, but also to revel in the sensation of being so close to her and to breathe in her sweet, herby scent he didn't get to enjoy enough.

He heard her let out a gentle purr, and felt her whole body quivering as she did so. "I'm a medicine cat," she whispered back, "It's what I do. You would have done the same if you were in my position."

"Definitely," He had to bite down on his tongue to stop the profession of love that he could feel creeping forward in his delirious state. He may not have been fully in control of his body at that moment, but he had enough sense to keep that to himself, especially since they were both on display for every Clan to see. Though he never wanted to leave her side, he edged away from Cinderpelt and struggled to stay sitting upright.

Blackstar stepped forward and padded confidently up to Cinderpelt, who held her ground unflinchingly, now on her paws once again. "Do we need to take him back to camp?" he asked, voice low.

Cinderpelt shook her head almost immediately, holding Blackstar's gaze though she had to look up to do so, "He can stay for the Gathering," She glanced at Littlecloud before returning her attention to the white tom, "But just make sure he is accompanied the whole way back to your camp, especially across the Thunderpath."

"Of course, we aren't mouse-brains," Blackstar retorted, lashing his tail, and Littlecloud cringed despite himself. Control yourself, he silently urged him, and Blackstar seemed to realise his mistake.

But Cinderpelt didn't so much as blink, just adding to the reasons Littlecloud admired her so. "I never said that," she replied evenly, voice soothing but at the same time laced with a tone that could make even the most powerful leader snap to attention, "He will be completely fine after a good sleep and meal. There is no need to worry, Blackstar. Littlecloud is strong – a little concussion isn't going to affect him for long. But go easy on him nevertheless."

Blackstar nodded curtly and muttered a stiff thanks, before turning back to the gathered cats and brushing past them, jumping back onto the Great Rock. The other leaders followed uncertainly, and Littlecloud saw Firestar blink at Cinderpelt approvingly, to which he saw the she-cat smile a little more than she need have. He struggled to keep his fur flat.

Letting out a soft groan, Littlecloud turned and stumbled to the large roots of one of the ancient oak trees, crouching down with his side pressed to the cool bark. He watched the leaders as they reported to the other Clans, though he was only half-listening; Leopardstar announced they had two new apprentices, Hawkpaw and Mothpaw, and that RiverClan was once again at full strength and well-fed, ready to defend their borders if the other Clans refused to acknowledge they were once again rivals. This was met by irritated murmurs, but Leopardstar's hard gaze didn't waver, and the Clans did chant Mistyfoot's name at the news she was the new deputy, after an awkward few seconds of silence. Tallstar, who was looking particularly elderly that night though his eyes were still shining, said the same, but in a far more polite manner. Blackstar made a small speech about how he promised to make ShadowClan strong once more as their new leader, and to redeem his Clan, which received a few rolls of eyes. Littlecloud's ear twitched at the other Clan's reactions, but he remained silent. His leader also announced that Runningnose had stepped down from his duties as a medicine cat to move into the elder's den, and that Littlecloud was now the sole medicine cat; he shuffled his paws awkwardly as all four Clans turned to face him and let out supportive yowls, but couldn't help the small smile that played at his lips.

Finally, Firestar stepped forward, and Littlecloud was now at full attention. He wanted to know how Cinderpelt's Clan was fairing after the battle.

"ThunderClan has recovered well, though we still mourn the deaths of our clanmates, and of the dead cats of all Clans. Prey is plentiful and our warriors are as strong as ever," His brilliant green gaze travelled over the cats below him in a silent warning Littlecloud had seen the leaders use countless times before, "That being said, I must extend a word of caution to you all. Remnants of BloodClan warriors have been attacking our patrols and stealing prey. Our warriors have managed to fight them off each time, and no cat has been seriously injured, thanks to Cinderpelt, but I thought I should prepare you in case they decide to travel into your territories."

Yowls of outrage and fear met his words, and so many questions were called at the same time that no individual cat could be heard. The leaders raised their tails for silence, and, after a few more heartbeats, the now unsettled crowd obliged, settling into an uncomfortable silence. Cats now rearranged themselves nervously, and Littlecloud stiffened at the sight of more than a few sets of claws glistening in the moonlight. Littlecloud desperately hoped the BloodClan rogues wouldn't advance past ThunderClan borders. He didn't want to have to treat any more war wounds. But he also wanted to be assured Cinderpelt wouldn't be attacked while out collecting herbs in the forest. Glancing up at the sky with narrowed eyes, he saw that there was not a cloud in the sky. Hopefully, the Clans would remember the truce and not turn on each other.

"Firestar," Leopardstar spoke up, turning to face the ThunderClan leader and almost knocking Tallstar off in the process. Her voice was self-assured, if not a little urgent, but her wide eyes gave away her nerves, "When was the last raid?"

"Three days ago," he replied in a voice loud enough for all to hear. Littlecloud was suddenly aware of fresh battle scars criss-crossing the ThunderClan cats' pelts, too new to have been from the great battle. He urgently traced Cinderpelt's body, and was relieved to find it just as neat as ever, none of the fluffy fur parted to reveal scratches.

As though able to feel his gaze on her back, Cinderpelt turned her head to face him, and he was struck by the uneasiness in her eyes. But she tried to smile nevertheless before turning her attention back to Firestar.

Tallstar dipped his head to the ginger tom, "Thank you for the warning, Firestar," he meowed calmly, "WindClan wishes you luck in defeating BloodClan once more, and would be more than happy to assist you in a fight against them. They don't deserve to be called a Clan, and the world will be a far better place when we are rid of them for good."

Clawing the stone under his paws, Blackstar growled in agreement, "They should never have shown their mangy faces in the forest again," He glanced at Firestar, "ShadowClan will be ready if they try anything."

Leopardstar said nothing, simply nodded, tail-tip twitching.

Firestar dipped his head in thanks, "I'll keep your generous offer in mind, Tallstar."

Blackstar flicked the ThunderClan and WindClan leaders a look through narrowed eyes, as though suspicious of the familiarity with which the two spoke to each other. But he said nothing on the subject, instead raising his head to announce the end of the Gathering. It surprised Littlecloud a little, as it seemingly did all the Clans. The newest leader rarely closed the Gathering.

But before he could think any more of it, he saw Firestar padding towards him and struggled to his paws. Cinderpelt was on his tail, eyes narrowed, while Barkface and Mudfur stood back, clearly awaiting their moment to say their farewells to Littlecloud and Cinderpelt. In the time it took Firestar to reach him, memories surged through Littlecloud's mind. When Cinderpelt had disobeyed Bluestar to keep Littlecloud and Whitethroat hidden on ThunderClan territory in order to cure them, Firestar – then Fireheart – had found them. Initially, he had treated them with hostility, but then his generous heart had gotten the better of him and he had let the ShadowClan cats stay. That was the day Littlecloud had grown to truly respect and like Firestar, and he felt guilty at being jealous of the flame-coloured tom. But, looking back on it, he couldn't help but wonder if it hadn't been only the goodness of Firestar's heart that had persuaded him to help the sick cats, but also Cinderpelt's influence. It seemed that the leader always did what the medicine cat wanted. Perhaps Firestar had feelings for Cinderpelt, too. But he couldn't hate Firestar. Littlecloud remembered when he had first met the tom as an apprentice: it had been Firestar's first Gathering after being accepted into ThunderClan as a kittypet. Littlecloud hadn't even been six moons, having been forced into an early apprenticeship by that tyrant Brokenstar, and Whitestorm had commented on his smaller than average size. It hadn't been the best day, but Littlecloud would always remember the look of awe and determination in Firestar's eyes. He couldn't hate him. He would always love Cinderpelt, and that meant looking out for her Clan. Firestar was the ThunderClan leader, and thus Littlecloud had to be respectful.

"I hope you feel better soon," Firestar meowed, rousing Littlecloud from his confused thoughts. The leader's voice was kind and genuine, and Littlecloud instantly felt horrible at having been jealous of him, "My Clan wishes you all the best." Littlecloud spotted Sandstorm standing a little way off, and the pale ginger she-cat smiled at him as he met her green eyes. Firestar loves Sandstorm. Firestar loves Sandstorm. Firestar loves Sandstorm.

Cinderpelt rolled her eyes at her leader, "It's just a concussion, Firestar," she reminded him.

"All the same," Firestar replied, whiskers twitching in amusement. Any other leader would have been annoyed and embarrassed if a cat of their Clan had spoken to them in public with such little respect, but Firestar didn't seem to mind.

"Thank you," Littlecloud's voice came out harsher than he had intended, and he saw the surprise in Firestar's eyes, heart sinking as Cinderpelt frowned, all humour disappearing from her gaze. He cleared his throat and nodded, forcing an uneasy smile.

Firestar nodded once before turning and padding quickly back to his mate. He stopped briefly, turning his head back to Cinderpelt, "Are you coming?" he called.

She nodded, brushing his words aside with a flick of her tail, "I'll be there in a moment. Go on without me."

The ginger tom narrowed his eyes, but didn't argue, "Don't be too long. I'll leave Brackenfur with you to escort you back to camp." With that, he gathered up ThunderClan and lead them from the hollow, leaving only a rustle of the bushes that lined the clearing in their wake.

As soon as they were gone, Cinderpelt turned to him, eyes scraping across him in such a way that Littlecloud wanted to cower closer to the ground. "You didn't have to be such a badger about that," she scolded, "It's in his nature to be caring."

Littlecloud bowed his head, "Sorry, Cinderpelt," he muttered truthfully, "I didn't mean to sound so rude. Please tell Firestar I appreciate it."

She looked as though she wanted to say more, but simply let out a small sigh. Padding forward, she used her muzzle to pry Littlecloud's paw up and pressed her nose to his paw pad to see if he had a temperature.

"I thought we agreed I had a concussion," he meowed, struggling to balance on three paws in his dizzy state, though he had begun to feel better over the course of the night. Letting his paw drop, she took a step back.

"We did," she responded, the light returning to her eyes. He was relieved her anger hadn't lasted long, "I was just checking to make sure it was and not some sort of sickness. It's not."

He couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face, "Thank you, O great medicine cat," he purred.

Cinderpelt let out a mrrow of laughter, feigning indignation, "Hey, you were a warrior before you were a medicine cat," she reminded him playfully, "How am I to know you—"

"Cinderpelt!" she was cut off by Brackenfur, who was standing a few fox-lengths away. Littlecloud hadn't noticed him approach, and felt his skin begin to redden with embarrassment under his fur, "We should start heading back, and we can't afford to lose our medicine cat if BloodClan is waiting for us."

He saw a shadow pass over Cinderpelt's face, and guessed she was remembering Yellowfang. Littlecloud had only been a kit when the old she-cat had been banished from ShadowClan, but he had met her at Gatherings, and Runningnose had spoken fondly of his former mentor often. She turned back to Littlecloud and mumbled an apology, accompanied by a roll of her eyes that he couldn't help smile at. They touched noses briefly and Cinderpelt wished him all the best.

"I'll see you at the quarter moon!" he called after her, trying his hardest to keep his excitement at the thought from his voice. She flicked her tail in response before clambering clumsily up the slope beside Brackenfur, who blinked at him in farewell. Littlecloud watched until the last of her dark grey fur disappeared through the greenery before finally turning to the other medicine cats, who were beginning to look impatient. "Sorry to keep you waiting," he apologised, padding over to them, concentrating on not falling over.

Mudfur nodded once while Barkface shrugged, "Cinderpelt is far better company than us," the WindClan medicine cat replied with a snort, and Littlecloud hoped there wasn't a scornful undertone to his comment, smiling uncertainly in response.

"Until we meet at quarter moon," Mudfur meowed, dipping his head politely, "Get well soon, Littlecloud. Oh, and Leopardstar sends her regards and best wishes for a speedy recovery."

"Yes," Barkface added, a mischievous gleam in his aged eyes, "The same goes for Tallstar. If I ever need attention from every Clan, I'll know to faint at a Gathering."

Littlecloud shuffled his paws, smiling shyly. He really hated being the centre of attention, "Thank you."

They both nodded and meowed their goodbyes before hurrying after each of their Clans, who were becoming impatient with their dawdling medicine cats. Finally, ShadowClan was the only Clan left in the clearing, Blackstar talking with Russetfur. As soon as the last his rivals had left, Blackstar raised his head and padded over to Littlecloud, "Can we go now?" he asked gruffly.

The small tabby nodded, and Blackstar turned, stalking across the grass and leading his Clan from the hollow that now swam with the over-powering scents of all the Clans combined. It just added to Littlecloud's already sick stomach. Two of his clanmates fell into step beside him to keep him steady on the trip home, flashing him brief smiles. Littlecloud didn't like being crowded, but he put up with it. Half way to the Thunderpath, Dawncloud pushed one of Littlecloud's escorts aside to squeeze in beside her son.

"How are you?" she asked fussily, craning her neck to sniff him until he waved her away, "You gave me such a fright tonight, Littlecloud. Be more careful."

He flicked a ragged ear, nudging her gently with his shoulder, "I'm fine," he assured her, though he felt anything other than okay, "I'm not a kit in the nursery anymore, stop worrying."

"You'll always be my little kit," she purred affectionately, and he groaned as the cats around him sniggered. He was the medicine cat! He needed respect. Of course he loved Dawncloud, but he would rather the whole Clan didn't see that she still treated him like a helpless kitten. She had once been a great warrior, admired by every cat. Smiling at his mother and murmuring another assurance, he quickened his pace, which resulted in him stumbling once more; he would have fallen if it hadn't been for Tawnypaw ducking in and supporting him with his shoulder, while Dawncloud pressed against him on the other side.

"Thank you," he meowed to the apprentice, letting out a small, embarrassed mrrow of laughter. She simply blinked up at him sadly, and Littlecloud instantly remembered. Every ShadowClan cat had been wary about letting Tawnypaw attend the Gathering, as it would be the first one after her father, Tigerstar's, death; but Blackstar had insisted that he would not give the other Clans the impression they were ashamed of Tawnypaw's ThunderClan origins. It seemed to Littlecloud that he had been the only cat to remember it may hurt the apprentice to see her brother again so soon.

He glanced sideways at the slender calico she-cat, gaze soft with sympathy, "Was Bramblepaw there?"

Tawnypaw nodded, looking around cautiously as though she was afraid her adopted clanmates would hear. The thing about being a medicine cat was that cats felt comfortable enough to talk freely to their medicine cats, though that wasn't always a good thing. But Littlecloud enjoyed it, though he was often a little uncertain of how to comfort cats when they confided in him. He had always been a little awkward in social situations, but nevertheless he tried his hardest.

"At first I thought he wouldn't speak to me," she admitted softly, "I wouldn't really blame him if he didn't. But then I saw Firestar speaking to him. When I asked Bramblepaw about it, he said Firestar had been telling him to not avoid me, that even though we were from rival Clans now we would always be siblings and we have just lost our father, so now is no time to turn our backs on each other," Pausing, she added slowly, as though unsure of whether she should be saying this, "I'll always be grateful to Firestar for that. Yes, he was always, and will always be, a little suspicious of Bramblepaw and I because of Tigerstar, but he defended us, and is a great leader," Under her breath, she muttered, "Blackstar would never give me that advice."

Littlecloud was caught off guard at the mention of Firestar, and felt his stomach churn with guilt. He couldn't possibly hate him, if he was so loved by many cats, including Cinderpelt and his new clanmate. "Yes," he agreed just as softly, "Firestar has much good in his heart. I'm glad you and Bramblepaw left on good terms – siblings share a deep bond, and that should never be broken. But you shouldn't speak of Blackstar like that; each leader has different ways of leading, and this is his."

Tawnypaw looked taken aback by Littlecloud's comment, as if she hadn't intended him to hear the part about Blackstar. She frowned, "I know that, Littlecloud. I'm not saying Blackstar's a bad leader. But you would never say that what Brokenstar did was because he had a different way of leading."

It took everything in Littlecloud to stop the shudder that threatened to run down his spine at the mention of his former leader's name, and to keep his claws sheathed. "Blackstar is not Brokenstar," he replied firmly, struggling to keep his voice even and his teeth from gritting, "He is rebuilding ShadowClan whilst Brokenstar only sought to destroy it."

"Maybe he only did the things he did because he was trying to make ShadowClan stronger," she offered.

His pelt prickled and he fought to keep his hackles flat, "This was before your time, Tawnypaw," he meowed, voice just edging on a growl, "I was one of the kits he forced into an early apprenticeship," He stopped to gesture to his ear with his tail, "See that? If it hadn't been for Runningnose, I would have been killed in my training session with Clawface."

He saw her eyes widen, and felt a glimmer of satisfaction at the thought his words were getting through to her. She was still a ThunderClan cat at heart, however much she tried to prove herself, and as such had only heard their altered tales of Brokenstar's reign. He didn't blame her, but the topic was painful for him to discuss. He had lost a good friend during that dark time, so didn't like to dwell on it too much. Though he respected ThunderClan and wished them no ill will – his forgiving nature wouldn't allow him to – when he had first heard they were harbouring the fallen leader, he had been furious. But that had been back when he was a warrior, and he know knew ThunderClan much better, enough to know it hadn't just been the soppy heart of a kittypet as deputy that had influenced their decision. As a test to see if he was truly ready to give up his warrior duties to become a medicine cat, StarClan had told him that Yellowfang and Raggedstar had been Brokenstar's parents. At first he had been shocked, but had inwardly been able to relate to Yellowfang, who had also been a warrior before she became a medicine cat, and had fallen in love with the ShadowClan leader. He had managed to keep the secret well. It seemed to Littlecloud that cats that had been warriors before they became medicine cats were more inclined to long for mates than cats who had known their destiny at a young age.

Too absorbed by his own thoughts for the fifth time that night, he didn't notice that both Dawncloud and Cedarheart had fallen back to stop beside them while the rest of the Clan had already begun crossing the Thunderpath.

"Don't traumatise the poor apprentice," Dawncloud chastised her son, purring amusedly.

Cedarheart, who was now standing beside Tawnypaw, towering over her, grunted, "I think it's important for every cat to know their Clan's histories, even the more unpleasant parts," He glanced down at the apprentice and flicked an ear, "She's a ShadowClan cat now, and deserves to know our side of the story. She'll be the only one that doesn't."

"Well, go easy on her nevertheless," The elder meowed with a warm smile in Tawnypaw's direction, "Nightmares won't do her any good on the battle field."

"StarClan hoping she won't see any more battles for some while," Littlecloud broke in, and both Cedarheart and Dawncloud nodded, though a hunger burned in Tawnypaw's moss green eyes, one that he had seen in every apprentice's gaze.

"War is not desirable nor is it glorious, but it is necessary," Cedarheart agreed in a distant voice.

At that moment, Blackstar cleared his throat and brought the huddle of cats back to the present. The huge white cat was the only one left on their side of the Thunderpath, while the rest of the Clan waited impatiently on the far side, icy wind making them bunch together for warmth. "I sent you to guide Littlecloud across the Thunderpath, Cedarheart, not gossip with him," Blackstar meowed, having to raise his voice to be heard as the wind stole his words; it had steadily picked up without his realising it, now rattling the branches of the trees above his head. Leaf-fall was supposed to have ended!

Cedarheart dipped his head respectfully and turned back to Littlecloud, jerking his head towards the Thunderpath in signal for him to follow them.


End file.
